Polysystem or Ecosystem: Balance is the Key!

As you may know by now, My approach to poly is that when all the parts work together, the Needs of all are met. This is how it works in nature. A balanced ecosystem is self-sufficient. It is only when we introduce external forces that do not work in tandem that the balance is thrown off and the entire ecosystem starts to fail.

I was raised on 60 acres of brushland in Northern Alberta. We had a natural pond (slough?) and a few water holes we called dugouts. Basically, a dugout is a hole artificially created by machinery, which was left to fill with water. We then used that water to maintain our large retail Garden Centre and Nursery. While we had a natural underground water source from a well and a naturally occurring pond, we only drew from the dugouts and rain collection. As a young child, I remember having to haul the large piping overland from one dugout to the other, all five kids struggling with our sections of pipe to keep up as we dragged it across brush as we crossed barbed wire fences (even when siblings pushed us into them).

When I asked why we didn't just use the pond and instead had to build the dugout, maintain the dugouts, and move pipes between the dugouts, my father simply said "the trees and frogs are already using the pond". If we had drawn water from the natural wetland, the levels would lower, the frogs would die off, the insects would increase, the algae would overrun the water, the snakes and birds would then start to die off, and so on and so forth. If we start drawing water from the pond, the frogs, trees, mint (natural sloughs and ponds in Northern Alberta almost inevitably had wild mint growing nearby!) all struggle to compensate.

Nature has balance. Without it, nature fails. As I matured and started studying landscape design, I chose to work with nature, not against her. My ponds were ecosystems of their own, because the more self-sufficient the system, the less maintenance it needs. A fully functioning polysystem is its own, self-sufficient ecosystem. When everyone works together to ensure the Needs of others are met, the hive itself needs less maintenance. Our need for introspection and self-evaluation of our own Needs decreases, and everything just "works".

So why does the entire hive need to attend Poly Processing?

A poly hive is its own polysystem. A network of parts, all working together to a common whole. Even when parts don't directly intersect, t

what happens to them affects everything else. When one set of Needs is not met, or when one element is toxic, the entire system can fail.

ok, so how do we make sure our polysystem survives?

As with all things, this really comes down to respect and honesty. Respect for the system, respect for the process, respect for the other members of the hive. Honesty in your own Needs, so that others can meet them. Honesty with yourself and what you reasonably can offer. Trust in yourself that you are a valuable member of the hive, that the grass is important to the safety and survival of the lion. All parts are integral, and all are essential. Communication, communication, communication!!!

Minimal Office


Miss Kelicious is an author, lifestyle Domina, Professional Dominatrix and relationship/life coach currently located in Calgary, Alberta. Polyamorous, kinky and queer, Miss K is an author, educator and facilitator.

Her kink skills have been honed across North America through workshops, Mentorships and personal training by many well-known Dominatrices and Masters. She seeks excellence in all She does, and favors the edgier side of play.

Born poly, it took a few relationships to tease out society's training of who you "should be" to arrive at who She Is. Skills learned at the feet of masters in Energy Healing, therapists, educators and communication specialists, if you open yourself to Her, you will succeed.

Identifying as Non-Binary Femme, pronouns are She/Her or They/Them.