I will never own a St Andrews Cross!

I have an impressive Dungeon. It is wholly and completely customized to My playstyle. But inevitably, the "fifty shades" crowd will ask where My Cross is. It isn't. It never will be. The casual players, those who proudly ask "how long have you been in the lifestyle" adore this dungeon piece, and I have never understood its appeal! Yes, it looks cool, with the big "X" proudly the focal piece of lifestyle spaces, but it really isn't a functional piece of furniture! And this is why.

1. It takes space that I cannot afford. Regardless of how big My space is.

This piece is large and impressive, but realistically, it needs a lot more space than most home-players have. The Cross itself is larger than the arm span of your sub, usually angled, and requires a large, clear space to swing the whip or flogger. It really needs its own space in a large, commercial Dungeon of well over 2,000 square feet. Anything less and it is taking real estate that can be better used by other pieces. Try having your sub kneel on their chair facing backward instead.

2. You must have suspension cuffs to use it.

So many people use this piece wrong. Any time you have the hands placed above shoulder level, you must use suspension cuffs. Anything less and you risk permanent nerve damage. As a subbie sways under the bliss of subspace, their body relaxes, falls, and their entire weight is placed on their wrists. The nerve bundles that run to their hands are compressed, blood flow is decreased, and it doesn't take long before permanent damage sets in. The *only* way to safely play with the arms secured higher than the shoulder is to use a good set of suspension cuffs that takes the weight off that pinch point. This is true for any type of play.

3. You cannot walk a 360 while playing and tease all around the subbie.

One of the joys of having someone strung up and at your mercy is torturing them in all the delicious ways. Watching their face as they realize they are stuck, tweaking a nipple as you touch the buttocks to check for warmth. Brushing a lip as they crave your touch. With a cross, the "touchable" areas of a submissive are literally half of what I am entitled to! Instead, I use a chair, a bench, or weight-rated hardpoints fastened to the walls and load-bearing beams (not floor joists, but actual, meant to take weight beams!). I love having the freedom to drag My submissive wherever I want them, utilizing the entire room in some instances.

4. Most are unsafe - they are not fastened securely and when they are, they are not raised off the floor, and so are a tumble hazard

Nothing sexier than the writhing result of an intense beating. And there is nothing less sexy than having to call a medical time out because your subbie wound up on the floor, shackled to a fallen Cross. In general, a good Cross will have two important factors, both of which end up taking even more space, so they are often deleted from the popular design. Firstly, it needs to be secure. It must be solid enough to withstand movement, with enough counterweight support. And it needs to have the feet resting on an integrated piece. If the cross has no footrest, then the bottom's feet can act as a counterlever, and makes a marginally stable design suddenly very unstable. And falling with your hands, legs, and waist bound to a large piece of wood usually ends up being a great story to tell the paramedics who rescue you.

5. More dangerous, especially for intense impact: no room for the body to sway under impact so more potential to break bones

I'm an edge player. I quite enjoy using an aluminum bat to beat the living hell out of someone. But the cardinal rule of intense impact: aim for the fleshy parts, only works when the recipient has fleshy parts! With the leaner submissives, there isn't as much cushioning between their bones and the bat, so we rely on physics. If the bone has room to sway under the impact, it does not get compressed. When it isn't compressed, it can stand up to a lot more torture with a lot less permanent damage. But having that solid piece of wood, iron, stone, or whatever your Cross is made from sitting on the other side of My swing ends up putting the bone literally between a rock and a hard bat. That's where breaks, crush injuries, and overall damage comes from. I have never landed a submissive in the hospital, and I am certainly not keen to do so now.

So no, don't offer to build Me one, or tell Me "All you need now is a Cross" thank you very much. I must admit though, in My sarcastic way I've added a Cross to My living room, in the form of a bookcase. Cuz that's really all they are good for!

Minimal Office


Miss Kelicious is an author, lifestyle Domina, Professional Dominatrix and relationship/life coach currently located in Calgary, Alberta. Polyamorous, kinky and queer, Miss K is an author, educator and facilitator.

Her kink skills have been honed across North America through workshops, Mentorships and personal training by many well-known Dominatrices and Masters. She seeks excellence in all She does, and favors the edgier side of play.

Born poly, it took a few relationships to tease out society's training of who you "should be" to arrive at who She Is. Skills learned at the feet of masters in Energy Healing, therapists, educators and communication specialists, if you open yourself to Her, you will succeed.

Identifying as Non-Binary Femme, pronouns are She/Her or They/Them.