Countdown to Locktober!

Ahh, tis the season. All the kids heading back to school, the summer holidays wrapping up and we all get to circle back to O/our old routines of wearing a chastity cage and being denied orgasms! Locktober is, quite possibly, My favorite time of year. Aside from the thrill of shoving carrots in asses for Easter...

October is the Female Led Relationship hallmark month of locking away all those icky male penises and making sure their owners remember it is Us who actually own them. But how can you join the festivities? Despite what you read, it isn't always easy to just snap a chastity cage on and leave it for a month. The mind may be willing, but there are real issues to address to keep the little member safe during incarceration. So how can you ensure you stay locked away for 31 days (and beyond)?

Miss K's ultimate guide to long term chastity

Everything I do, I do sustainably. That is, it is sustainable long term. My anal destructions retain bowel control, My chastity is staged so that it can be sustained for years. There are a few steps to ensure the safety of all involved (and yes, this also means your penis. Despite locking it away, it is much more fun to tease a working member than a broken one!).

Of course, the first thing you need is a good, long-term cock cage. For a month-long sentence, most cages readily available are sufficient. If you want to wear permanent chastity, a custom cage is preferred.

There are a few things to consider when cage shopping: plastic vs metal, enclosed vs open design. Each has its own advantages and disadvantages. The plastic cages have, under extreme strain (read: repeated teasing) been known to split along the seams, especially when not a higher-end piece. Plastic cages, however, are more discreet when passing through metal detectors and make less noise in many situations. A metal cage is a little heavier and makes a nice reminder every time you move that it is ever-present. A solid enclosure can be more secure and comfortable but may trap sweat be harder to clean. An open, cage-like design has a nice aesthetic and is easier to clean, but if you don't mind some pain when swelling it can allow a little more freedom for erection than many Keyholders prefer.

Once you have the desired style down, you will need to ensure proper sizing. Many chastity systems have an interchangeable system to adjust and customize your fit (think Bon4 or CB6000). I typically suggest My long-term chastity clients purchase a knock-off plastic modifiable system to determine the best size, then invest in a custom piece since they know what size is sustainable for them.

Size matters!

There are lots of sizing recommendations online, but no two penises are the same, so there will always be some outliers to the norm. If you are looking for a cage for play-time (in during a scene then out afterward) then the sizing approach is completely different.

For long-term sizing, I recommend starting with the largest size available in the back ring, as long as it is enough to hold the testes secure. The spacers will again be the longest available, as long as the flaccid penis can't pop out of the cage. In some instances, an uncircumcised penis has issues where a longer spacer is needed as it gets used to being caged. If the cage is comfortable after a few hours of daytime wearing, try a size down in spacer and wear for another few hours. Keep this up until you find discomfort, then go back to the size that was last comfortable. Many sites will tell you to start with the smallest sizes, but when you are wearing a cage overnight, 24/7 it is different than when you wear a cage for play. Stepping down from larger sizes is My preferred method for both safety and successful long-term confinement.

Getting to it

So, W/we have a style that W/we like and a size that works. Now W/we can just lock it up and leave it, right? Nope. This too, takes time. It is best to start for an hour a day, then add an hour to the wear-time slowly, so that the little guy gets used to being locked away, and the penis-wearer wraps their head around the mental aspect of chastity. Too much too soo and either one is liable to revolt. Remember not to listen to the desire, but to the ability of your lockee. This is where unsupervised self-locking can cause issues, too. This is a big step, and must be granted the difference it deserves. Slow and steady like a lobster in a pot. Once you are able to lock away for 8 hours through the day, try wearing the cage to bed. The first night or so tend to have disturbed sleep (thank you nighttime erections).

In addition to the physical and psychological effects of being locked up, W/we also monitor regularly for chaffing, excessive rubbing, etc. My Monthly Keyholder commitment includes regularly monitoring, by daily photos, the ensure the rubbing and chaffing is the normal, uncomfortable kind and not the trip-to-the-ER kind. for self-lockers or new keyholders, you can monitor daily and look for any unusual changes.

Some rubbing and chaffing between the back ring and the shaft is normal, but a longer spacer on the cage may alleviate this. The skin discomfort can be alleviated by a good, thick non-scented moisturizer lotion (like glaxal base). A moisture barrier like vaseline is not recommended, because moisture helps heal and a barrier cream, while providing temporary relief, will aggravate the condition in long term. If the area is too moist, a light powdering of cornstarch (the main ingredient in baby powder, but without the irritating fragrances) can help wick away the offenders. By the way, excessive moisture is often recognized by a musty smell. Remember to keep your cage area clean, use a cotton swab to clean and dry all the skin-on-cage parts, and make sure no moisture is trapped.

Once an overnight is possible, stay locked overnight every night, and add daytime locking two hours at a time until you have a 24 hour period. The first 24 hour period can earn an hour or so of unlocked time. Next add a day at a time, with an hour or so of reprieve after two days, four days, eight days, 16 days, etc. Doubling the locked days after every "free time" and offering free time can be quite rewarding for both the locker and the lockee. Add some extra tasks for your chastity slave to do to earn activities during the free times, with a "punishment" free time of 20 minutes alone, in the dark, in the bathroom. Remember that as a Keyholder, your hands, mouth and feet are welcome rewards!

Minimal Office


Miss Kelicious is an author, lifestyle Domina, Professional Dominatrix and relationship/life coach currently located in Calgary, Alberta. Polyamorous, kinky and queer, Miss K is an author, educator and facilitator.

Her kink skills have been honed across North America through workshops, Mentorships and personal training by many well-known Dominatrices and Masters. She seeks excellence in all She does, and favors the edgier side of play.

Born poly, it took a few relationships to tease out society's training of who you "should be" to arrive at who She Is. Skills learned at the feet of masters in Energy Healing, therapists, educators and communication specialists, if you open yourself to Her, you will succeed.

Identifying as Non-Binary Femme, pronouns are She/Her or They/Them.